


Está tudo bem. Está tudo bem. Está tudo bem.

by Milana16



Series: NHK'17 PTSD Treatment for Fans [2]
Category: Figure Skating RPF, Sports RPF
Genre: Boston Mention, CoC mention, Fantasy AU, Gen, I suppose, I was going to add '14 but as it is now just CoC mention is more accurate, Not Betaed, PTSD therapy for fans, how I imagine our prayers should work, pre-NHK nerves, title stolen from one of PH's post, trust the boy, warnings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-09
Updated: 2017-11-09
Packaged: 2019-01-31 05:16:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12675150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milana16/pseuds/Milana16
Summary: What one fall can really do to you, if you have support of thousands people. And your mother by your side.





	Está tudo bem. Está tudo bem. Está tudo bem.

**Author's Note:**

> Usual RPF warnings apply, aka this is a work of fiction, and, aside of well wishes, have absoulutely no intention of being connected with real life people.  
> ...because not only forum went crazy with worry, my Tumblr dash is also full of prayer circles, and I refuse to consider they do nothing to help.  
> (as If 13728947230 emas didn't do enough)
> 
> ADDITIONAL WARNING: UNBETAED WORK OF NON-NATIVE ENGLISH SPEAKER, WRITTEN IN UNDER AN HOUR. BEWARE OF MISTAKES, TYPOS AND OTHER TRAPS.

It’s dark.

 _Of course it is, and you should sleep_ , his logical mind berates, but his body refuses to listen.

It’s painful. And scary.

What if this is his own version of Javier’s Cup of China, or Jun Hwan’s Skate Canada?

 _Don’t think that_ , he protests with a sharp intake of breath, and answering squeeze to his right palm brings him back. He looks to the side, where his mother’s half laying on the chair and his bed- it’s her hand that squeezed his, never letting go, even in her sleep. She abandoned the idea of going to her own room after seeing his face after the session with Kikuchi-san.

‘He’s going to overtrain himself if I don’t stay.’ she proclaimed then to his physicist, and, through the translator, his coach as well. He remember pouting at the adults- _other_ adults, he needs to remind himself, sometimes their treatment makes him forget he’s no longer just too mature (and too passionate) sixteen year old- chuckling at his mother’s comment; where have all the praises to him pacing himself surprisingly well this season gone? Where have his coaches’ ‘You’re finally becoming a responsible adult’ had gone? All of it disspelled with one ‘mom knows best’ line.

He smiles, even though it’s dark and painful, and moves hand to put hair of his mom away from her face. Even when sleeping, she was worrying for him, he could read his’ and Saya’s name from her barely moving lips. How many concerns he had to cause her...

Falls at Skate Canada. Cup of China after Sochi. Boston and everything leading up to it. Moving to Canada and splitting family. Post-Earthquake skating. Pre-earthquake costumes. Asthma.

Okay, she definitely had a right to say she knew him best.

It’s not so scary anymore, and his breath is calmer, too, watching his mother this close. As if feeling that, her face smoothe out and Yuzuru feels like they had moved back in time, back to where he was just a Junior, not even that maybe, and yet, his mother’s one and only Champion, in homemade costume and Plushenko’s haircut.

Harsh pain in his hip and ankle makes him hiss then hold breath as his mother moves in her sleep, sensing his discomfort. She’s a light sleeper, like him. He wonders if he’ll be able to move them enough to share a bed with her, because that position cannot be good to her whether she’s skating or not. She’ll scold him for that in the morning, because _it’s your leg with which Kikuchi-san worked for the whole afternoon, not mine_ , and neither of them is particularly tiny enough to fit in bed anymore (he does -barely- remember sleeping curled in his mother arms when the attack was particularly bad, and she stayed up with him for the whole night), but right now he cannot care that much about it. It’s a bit painful to move, but he somehow manage to fit them into the bed (they don’t really _fit_ ) without releasing his hand from his mother’s grasp. Once her breath deepened back, and his own evened, Yuzuru became more aware of his leg.

Still painful. And still so dark.

He looks around the room for something to take his mind away from these thoughts. Games are off-limits, with his mom this close, but his eyes hook on a certain shape closeby.

Even in the dark, it’s bright. And also calm.

Yuzuru can’t believe that, after all those years, he still cannot help but feel the wave of comfort just by seeing the-now slightly malnourished- Pooh.His companion, even in the dark of the room, looks bright and calm, looking back at him as if to say ‘It’s alright’. He reaches out for the plush’s head and squeezes, just like before competition, and closes his eyes.

‘It’s alright.’ he murmurs, then, feeling his mother’s soft squeeze, adds even more softly, like a child skater he no longer can be, but still somehow hopes remains deep inside, repeating the words of a mother treating his bruised elbow, smashed on another attempt on triple Lutz: ‘Pain, oh pain, go away.'

_„Let me skate tomorrow.”_

_‘Fear fear, go away. Let him rest.’_

His eyes shoot open and he shifts so abruptly he seems to startle his mother into half awake state. After lulling her back to sleep (she moves his bangs away from his eyes before falling asleep) and calming down his heartbeat, he starts listening.

_‘Oh boy..no, it will be okay.’_

_‘It’s him, it has to be fine!’_

_‘Worry not, it will be alright.’_

_‘Right? Everything’s okay.’_

_‘I pray too!’_

_‘Skating gods, please!’_

He keeps hearing them but sees nothing. Then, he squeezes his eyes and when he opens them again...

It’s not dark anymore.

Yuzuru slowly looks back to his companion and lets Pooh confident smile secure his own feelings before looking back around the room.

_‘I’m folding another Pooh!’_

_'Might our swans give him our power!'_

_‘Trust him, it will be okay.’_

_‘He’s our wings! It HAS to be alright!’_

The words, the voices come from the tiniest of tiny speckles of light but there are so many of them. They remind Yuzuru of tiny fireflies, but much more fierce.

And warm.

_‘Might it heal.’_

_‘Might it not be serious.’_

_‘Let him rest and be okay.’_

There are languages he doesn’t understand and yet, he _understands_ , and that’s when he has to blink really, really quickly.

Pooh is smiling proudly at him now.

 _His fans_. Their languages, their voices, their messages, their _prayers_ , they start to gather around him, and then touch him softly though he can assume so only with his eyes as he feels no touch whatsoever at his bruised, abused skin they seem to occupy. Then, one by one, the voices disappear and fade out, but it’s not dark anymore, it’s not painful anymore, and the glow, their glow is within him, and he feels them circulating around him, kneading at his tensed muscles the way Kikuchi-san’s experienced hands do, until they are relaxed, until his breath is even and his eyelids are so heavy he barely manages to whisper goodnight to Pooh-san, dragging him a bit closer to bed. The mascot still smiles.

*

He wakes up tucked in, Pooh-san next to his pillow, smell of homemade food filling the room from the kitchenette that is located next to the private bathroom, clothes and pills prepared next to his bed, Chopin’s costume hanging from the wardrobe with his skating bag on the table, it’s contents next to it, ready to be packed (Mother’s silent way of saying ‘check your own stuff’).

He slowly gets up and stretches, then with a smile opens the curtain on the window and moves towards the sound of somebody working in the kitchen. Nothing is dark or scary anynmore. Even if Pooh-san looks terrible again.

**Author's Note:**

> Folded swans are project of Planet Hanyu's forum members, that is loosely based on the legend of folding 1000 cranes to make one wish come true. Since our lord and savior has more affilation with swans (Looking at you, White Legend, Notte Stellata), it's the shape they choose. The already finished products are then distributed around the audience by the PH members attending the event (I think most of Yuzuru-attended competition have at least one member^^), to spread the positive energy among everyone loving the sport, so you might want to be on a look out for them!  
> (Btw there is also a fan in the facebook international fan group folding one thousand poohs with the same legend in mind... if Yuzuru don't get his wish granted with so many faithful fans, I'm calling out whoever made this legend)
> 
> Feeling better? Then off to sleep/ preparing yourself for the competition and don't forget happy thoughts and a smile (I sound like a school trip organiser, lol)
> 
> EDIT POST 10.11 ANNOUNCEMENT: So, the boy is injured, BUT that doesn't mean we should despair. He is going to be even more upset about upsetting his fans, ladies and gentlemen, and it's not what we want.  
> As it is now, We shall continue praying, sending our support, maybe take a leaf out of Sendai's supporting ways. Keep the swans invading the FS, we're still here, and a swan can turn into phoenix (I'm writing that), and I hope that this is one of such stories. Oh who I want to joke, this is alien from Sendai, he's pulled out from so many tight spots in which lesser man would crumble. Just. Support each other, support Yuzu, support your other favorite skaters, remember to eat and drink, and wait for the updates. They will come, there's a lot of us, and we're all good, sharing people (Yuzu makes us be good-we feel stupid if we aren't, so).


End file.
